Embracing Freedom in the Face of Being Wronged

Have you ever been wronged by someone whose words or actions seemed deeply unfair, even untrue? Perhaps they said things about you that struck a nerve, statements that felt completely detached from who you know yourself to be. In moments like these, it’s natural to ask: What even is truth? When people see us in ways we don’t recognise, it can be unsettling and stir a wave of emotions—anger, hurt, confusion. However, exploring these moments through the lens of philosophy and spirituality reveals a surprising path to freedom, peace, and self-discovery.

Truth is Not Always Universal: The Many Faces of Reality

Plato argued that truth exists in a pure, abstract realm, unaltered by human perception. For him, what we see or experience in our everyday lives is only a shadow of a higher, objective truth.

However, Immanuel Kant counters that what we perceive is always filtered through our unique mental frameworks. We can only ever know the world as it appears to us, not as it is.

This brings us to the concept of subjective reality. What we perceive as “true” may be a construct of our minds—a mixture of experiences, beliefs, and biases that colour how we see the world. The person who has wronged you likely believes in their version of events, just as you hold yours. This doesn’t mean that either perspective is objectively “right” or “wrong”; instead, we engage with our subjective truths. In a sense, truth is both profoundly personal and forever elusive.

Friedrich Nietzsche takes this a step further, proposing that truth is often a human-made construct, shaped by perspectives and power dynamics. Nietzsche saw “truths” as interpretations, not absolute facts, influenced by who holds the power to shape narratives. This perspective suggests that the hurtful words of others may reflect more about them—their struggles, biases, and insecurities—than any objective reality about you.

The Power of Perception: Truth as Seen Through Our Own Bias

When we’re wronged, Eckhart Tolle reminds us that our reaction is often a product of the ego—a sense of self that is easily offended and craves validation. The ego is quick to latch onto perceived injustices, seeking to define itself by either retaliating or defending. Tolle

encourages us to go beyond the mind, to look within and understand that the pain we feel is often tied to our own attachment to identity, not necessarily to an ultimate truth. If we can let go of our need to be “right” or “understood,” we open ourselves to a greater freedom.

Similarly, Buddhist teachings suggest that clinging to the idea of being wronged only deepens our suffering. Buddha taught the art of non-attachment, which involves seeing our emotions and thoughts as passing clouds rather than rigid truths. Practicing compassion and letting go of resentments helps to release the pain of feeling wronged.

Embracing the Choice to Forgive

The concept of forgiveness often seems counterintuitive when we’re wronged, but it’s central to many philosophies. Jesus taught the virtue of forgiveness, urging us to “turn the other cheek,” suggesting that compassion and understanding are pathways to inner peace. Similarly, Søren Kierkegaard saw forgiveness as an act of faith and love, a conscious decision to release our judgments and trust that something greater will take care of the rest.

From this perspective, forgiving others does not mean condoning their actions or agreeing with them. It means choosing freedom over resentment. When we forgive, we shift the focus back to ourselves, finding peace in our ability to let go of what others may think, say, or believe.

Detachment and Resilience: Strength in the Face of Injustice

Marcus Aurelius and the Stoics held a practical view on how to deal with being wronged: focus on what you can control. For them, other people’s perceptions and actions are beyond our control, but our response is always within our power. By choosing not to allow the words or actions of others to disturb our peace, we exercise our inner strength and build resilience.

This approach is echoed by Nietzsche, who believed that adversity, when embraced, strengthens us. Resentment, Nietzsche argued, weakens the soul, trapping us in a cycle of victimhood. Instead, we can choose to transform our pain, letting it fuel personal growth and self-discovery.

Truth as Letting Go: Finding Inner Freedom

When faced with the hurtful words of others, Rumi, the Sufi poet, might remind us that even in suffering, there is an invitation to grow closer to the divine. Rumi encourages us to embrace love and understanding, even in the face of adversity. For him, the experience of being wronged is an opportunity to transcend ego and find peace in a higher love.

To reach this place of inner freedom, consider William James’ pragmatism: what is true is what works. If holding onto the feeling of being wronged brings only pain, letting go becomes the practical choice. By releasing resentment, you liberate yourself from the mental chains that bind you, making way for personal peace.

Reframing and Moving Forward

In practical terms, reframing your experience can help heal the pain of being wronged. As Martin Luther King Jr. advised, we can forgive not only to heal ourselves but also to foster greater understanding and harmony. Releasing bitterness allows us to see the humanity in others, even those who may have hurt us. It also allows us to recognise that, like us, they too are navigating their own subjective realities.

Wittgenstein said that language creates our reality, and by changing the narrative around how we view being wronged, we can change its impact on us. Rather than viewing it as an attack on our character, we can see it as an opportunity to let go of ego, embrace compassion, and strengthen our inner resilience.

The Art of Letting Go

In the end, being wronged by others challenges us to question our assumptions about truth, perception, and identity. While it’s natural to feel hurt, holding onto that pain can bind us to narratives that no longer serve us. By exploring these perspectives, we can find solace in the understanding that truth is often subjective, perceptions are fluid, and the need to be right is often just an echo of our ego.

Through forgiveness, detachment, and resilience, we can rise above the need for validation or revenge, transforming pain into strength. Letting go is not a single act but a practice—a continual return to peace and freedom, an art of choosing love over resentment, and choosing our own truth over the words of others.